Editing Twitter relative time parsing

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Preparation code

Preparation code HTML (this will be inserted in the <body> of a valid HTML5 document in standards mode) (useful when testing DOM operations or including libraries)

$.getJSON('http://twitter.com/statuses/user_timeline/TheOnion.json?count=100&callback=?', function(data, textStatus, jqXHR) {
    tweets = data;
  });

// https://gist.github.com/1123968

function timetowords(timestamp) {
    var words = {
      "seconds": "less than a minute",
      "minute": "about a minute",
      "minutes": "%d minutes",
      "hour": "about an hour",
      "hours": "about %d hours",
      "day": "a day",
      "days": "%d days",
      "month": "about a month",
      "months": "%d months",
      "year": "about a year",
      "years": "%d years"
    },
        deltaMilliseconds = (new Date().getTime() - timestamp),
        seconds = deltaMilliseconds / 1000,
        minutes = seconds / 60,
        hours = minutes / 60,
        days = hours / 24,
        years = days / 365;

return seconds < 45 && words.seconds.replace(/%d/i, Math.round(seconds)) || seconds < 90 && words.minute.replace(/%d/i, 1) || minutes < 45 && words.minutes.replace(/%d/i, Math.round(minutes)) || minutes < 90 && words.hour.replace(/%d/i, 1) || hours < 24 && words.hours.replace(/%d/i, Math.round(hours)) || hours < 48 && words.day.replace(/%d/i, 1) || days < 30 && words.days.replace(/%d/i, Math.floor(days)) || days < 60 && words.month.replace(/%d/i, 1) || days < 365 && words.months.replace(/%d/i, Math.floor(days / 30)) || years < 2 && words.year.replace(/%d/i, 1) || words.years.replace(/%d/i, Math.floor(years));
  }

// Part of https://github.com/seaofclouds/tweet

Include JavaScript libraries as follows: <script src="//cdn.ext/library.js"></script>

Define setup for all tests (variables, functions, arrays or other objects that will be used in the tests) (runs before each clocked test loop, outside of the timed code region) (e.g. define local test variables, reset global variables, clear canvas, etc.) (see FAQ)

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Code snippets to compare

Test 1

Title

Async (check if this is an asynchronous test)

Code

$.each(tweets, function(i, tweet) {
  timetowords(Date.parse(tweet.created_at));
});

Test 2

Title

Async (check if this is an asynchronous test)

Code

$.each(tweets, function(i, tweet) {
  relative_time(Date.parse(tweet.created_at));
});